| hello!!!!!!!!! wow, such a quiet place that i'm so unfamiliar with. sori xanga, hvnt visit u for such a long long time. this is the 1st time i write here after comin back from ghana. n i'v promised myself that i must write sth on this unforgettable trip, caz i dont want to forget anyth, caz this means a lot to me, n it's important for me to drop down this important page of my life. i'm so happy to know 11 new friends, n honestly, i'v learnt a lot from them. every single 1 of them is unique, n each has some qualities that astonished n inspired me. this trip would be so very difficult if it wasnt for u guys, n i'm so blessed to be granted the chance to experience this wif all of u. n i'll use the word that kaiger love most, there's reali quite a lot of "yun" we need to gain us this opportunity to walk this road together, n also quite a lot of "fun" to make all of u n importnat part of my life, n i wish, i wish our roads will neva part. n i want all of u to no, u guys make the best companions that 1 can hv on such a lonely n uncertain trip.n i m so very grateful to hv u guys. as for the trip, i bet every single 1 of us will say this it is so unforgettable. unforgettable not becaz of it's a brand new experience, n not becaz it's excitin or fun-givin, but becaz it's so different. it's so different from wt i used to no, it's against all my so called rules, unforgettable becaz it made me realized that i hv been so naive. back in hk, my world is simple, i'm a decent medical student, i live in a decent flat, wif a decent bathrm, n decent water runnin from the tap.but in ghana, the most fierce differnce, at least for me, is water isnt sth that always run from the tap. it's not a universal rule that whenever u turn on the tap, u got water. ok, this may sound so minute n so unimporatnt. but it is this minute thing that give me the greatest impact. the thgs that i hv known since i 1st got concious of my sorrundings doesnt apply, it's like findin sth that u think is correct all ur life wrong, it's sth that words cant explain. it's then i realized that thgs dont come that easy. there r so many places in this world that is way below hk, n so many ppl that is hvin lives way more difficult than mine. i hv been such a lucky asshole all along, but i still complain from time to time, wt's worse, most of the time i'm complainin matters that so many ppl would happily accept. ok, it's not like i'll stop complainin for the rest of my life, i'm not a superman, but from now on, i'll try to be more tough, more endurin, becaz i m 1 lucky asshole. it's also in this trip that i learn more of myself, at least of weakness that i hv no idea of be4. i'v always "believed" that i'm a strong person, that i m good at facin adversities, that i m carin n m willin to share n sacrifice. but i found that this only apply in dealin wif mild situations. when it comes to real hard time, i'm juz a weak n selfish human being. time in ghana can be quite hard some time, esp in the 1st few days, when the weather n jetlag is so torturin n annoyin. n there is also another thing that i will neva ever forget, the toilets durin the bus trip to mole. the r the worst toilets ever, n when i'm actually usin 1, i m so convinced that i'll 1 day commit suicide if i hvta live in those villages n use those toilets everyday. it reali scares me that there r human beings that use these toilets everyday. how wrong i hv been, in believin that i m strong enough to face everyth, that i m tough enough to glup everyth up. n i believe there r much worse experience if i ever join the MSF which hv been my dream. now i reali doubt if i hv enough endurance to fulfill this dream of mine, but time will help n the future is so uncertian yet. also, my energy was runnin low a lot of time in ghana, due to the stuck in trotro every mornin, the idlin in the hospitals, etcetc. sometimes it's so low that i'v lost the mood to participate n care, n left me all gloomy n shutin myself up. sometimes i think i could hv done so much more, that i could hv helped n shared so much more, that i could be a much better companion. sometimes, i m reali disappointed at myself. i gained a lot of satisfaction despite of the disappointment i sometimes hv wif myself. it's wonderful workin in police hospital, although most of the time i'm idlin. but the rest of the time that i'm doin useful, they r reali memorable. the visits to female, male, children wards n OPD, ok, they may not be always excitin n rewardin. but there r magical moments, moments like watchin the process of givin birth, moments like holdin new borns, n feelin their delicate fingers. this is the best thing ever, jux touchin those tiny little fingers n feelin how they wriggle n grab, lookin at their black tiny faces that r still so swollen n soft, smellin their new born odor , all r the signs of life. i wish i could steal 1 baby back n raise it on my own. the medical outreach programms r also another place that gave me the greatest satisfaction, although we r only dressin the wounds of those children n not doin much at all, it's good to no that we r givin them the idea that there r ppl in this whole wide world that care about them, that want them to be better, that love them. wt the teacher said to them is touchin, yes, we were there becaz we love them. we may only be doin very little, so little that it may not be useful at all, but it's not our actions that matter, it's the love we bestow that give this whole thing the meanin. n this satisfaction is wt keeps u wantin to volunteer more, caz u no that u r useful, n there is meanin in ur livin, which is to give wt u can give. n this is the whole idea of bein a doctor, to give wt i can give. this trip hv done a lot of good to me, n is goin to do more. i'll always rmb all the feelins n lessons i got in this 1 month, they certainly help in my struggle to be some1 that worth livin, some1 better, some1 that i want to be. now that i look back at the photos, it's amazin how every detail is still so vivid, everyth is juz like yesterday, n it will probably stay that way for the rest of my life. it's not easy to live, n even harder to live wif meanin. this trip is sth that gives my life its meaning. 
it's wonderful to hold a new born, u cant help but be all motherly n extremely lovin, it's juz in ur nature to protect them. 
a supa cute lookin child in the children's ward that is extremely naughty. all ghana children look so sosSOSOSO lovely, wif their big eyes n long lashes, u juz wish u can squeeze them like a soft doll. 
orphanages @ the medical outreach, they r all very welcomin to ppl like us, even if we look different. 
12 of us wif our host family, i will neva forget the time i hv wif them in this house, this will be 1 of the best time i ever have 
my dear dear heart 2 heart plastic mates, they r plastic, but they r the best |
